Gender Gap

Sometimes I look at life as a whole and laugh really hard. When you sit back and watch this ball of dirt spin, it's like watching billions of people running around in a three ring circus. It's ridiculous.

There are several "gaps" in our society as a whole, and that's what raises the level of confusion in life exponentially. You know, culture gaps, generation gaps. You can see how they cause a problem, and usually, the resulting chaos is laughable. For example, I know a few Swedish people who speak English but haven't picked up on all the slang and nuances of the language. One of them was sitting in a gas station filling up, and some nice gay black guy walked up and commented "Hey man, that jacket's hella clean." "Yeah," he said, "I just washed it." No, no, no...culture gap.

But the best one of all, in my opinion, is the gender gap. It's always been embedded in human psychology, and it always will be. And it causes a lot of fucking problems. You may wonder why I bring this up...it's because I'm having to deal with it more and more myself, and see other people getting caught up in the hopeless barbed wire fence of the gender gap.

We're not talking GAP, ok, this is not the difference between men's and women's clothing. We're talking the disparity between the psychology of two different groups of people, and that is a gap that cannot be bridged.

Normally when I write, especially in a two-sided topic like a debate or whatnot, I try to see things from both points of view. This time that will be difficult due to, uh, a uh...lack of...some hardware...that qualifies me to explain what both parties have to say. So I'll just give you my side, and kind of make up the rest. I'm not transgender, you know, and already you can see how these social gaps can cause problems, especially when you're trying to write about them, dammit.

The basis of this particular social gap is simple, men are stupid, and women are insane. Very, very insane...you do shit that would confuse us even if you explained it. I just decided I'm going to refer to guys as "us" and girls as "you." So, actually, I'm not even going to try to begin guessing as to what the fuck greases the gears of your thought process, I'll just explain how our simple brains work. We really do have simple brains. Everything is interpreted literally. I've heard a lot of you say you don't understand us, that we're confusing, complicated, and weird. I'll give you the last one, we're pretty weird, but the reason we come across as confusing to you is that you contort our intentions. When we say something, we mean it, literally, word for word. But you tend to get a really simple statement, and add logic, meaning, and rainbow sprinkles, and you end up with a complicated, and usually incorrect interpretation of what we said. So there's tip number one, think very literally.

I hope that confuckingfused you out of your mind. Now for number two.

This is a very important one, so listen up. Since everything is literal to us, you have to be extremely careful. When we're looking for something, dammit, we're going to find it even if it's not there. Don't say or do anything that could in any way communicate a message that you don't want to send across. We will look for meaning in eye-to-eye glances, body language, what you're talking about, hell, even your profile song. If you want one of us to like you, don't add "I Hate Everything About You" to your profile. If you hate our bloody guts, don't keep glancing over your shoulder, you're shooting yourself in the foot every time you do. And you're gonna run out of feet real quick.

The biggest problem with the gender gap is that males and females don't just SAY something, they play these little games to try and "send messages." Everybody is guilty of it, guilty as charged and sentenced to total confusion. I might not practice what I preach, but I'll preach it anyway. Ideally, if someone is bothering you, don't send messages that they need to go away. Tell them to FUCK OFF. You can be a prick about it. Actually, that was a bad choice of terminology...be a bitch about it. We will understand that way, and will eventually get over it. Or maybe not. Either way, you won't have to deal with it anymore.

Life is so twisted that I just have to try and straighten it out every once in a while. Reading over this, I think I just made it worse.

I don't think I accomplished anything here. One of those blown tires of writing that starts as a great idea and ends up as a bad game of twister. Oh well.

Current Mood: Confused

Listening To: "Far Away" by Nickelback

Alcohol

The college experience has changed a lot over the years, the difficulty of classes, the most common majors, the housing. But there is one thing that has remained as part of college culture for the past million years. That would be the drinking.

Being a college student now, I need to make this very transparent before my own university adventure begins, because a lot of people ask me questions about it for some reason, and a lot more will.

I don't get stone cold drunk. I just don't do it. I don't see any point at all in getting drunk, and I have infinite reasons why I don't. People ask me about this, why I don't drink, and quite frankly, it pisses me off. But instead of telling you to shove a bottle of Smirnoff up your ass, I'll make a list of reasons why I don't drink much, and will refuse to in college. Maybe you can understand my logic.

First off, before you mock me for being dry, excuse me if I tell you to fuck yourself, because, ironically, I have been drinking for years, maybe decades longer than you. Confused? Although I am one myself, I look at young Americans from an foreigner's point of view. Having lived in Europe, where there is no legal drinking age and children can consume alcohol, I am absolutely disgusted with young America. I am completely ashamed with the sickeningly high percentage of American kids get fucked up on booze because they think they're hot shit. I can't be kind about this, because it gives ME a bad name, residing in this group myself, a group that is represented by stupid, drunk IDIOTS. People from other countries do not understand why you, and I say you because I refuse to associate myself with the grog-happy population, drink so excessively. You see, when it is legal to drink at any age across the pond, they don't have any reason to use the stuff much, because there's no "fun" in getting it illegally. So, having lived in that culture, I don't have any reason to sneak it out and feel cool, because I'm allowed to drink whenever I damn want anyway. I know a lot of people who would be out flat day in and day out if they had that privilege, but that's why I have it, because I have a little bit of what they call SELF-CONTROL.

Secondly, people who drink, tend to drive. They do not think clearly when they are drunk. Correction, they don't think at all. I know this first hand, because I have literally dragged drunks out from behind the wheels of their cars kicking and screaming because they don't have the sense to get a ride. That said, to let you know, I would gladly knock all of your teeth out of your mouth and break every bone in your body before letting you get behind that wheel. Sounds sadistic and violent, yes, but considering the damage done to people I know by drunk drivers, I would gladly murder the drunk driver with my own two hands and ten fingers than allow them to kill another innocent victim of the bottle. Were you not watching at the every 15 minutes presentation? Didn't you hear the messages that have been pounded into your head for the last six years? If you didn't, I must say you are a blind, deaf, ignorant fuck, and I have no hope or sympathy for you whatsoever. I have known people shot through the head by the bullet of excessive drinking, who I can no longer speak to because of fermented hops and a bad decision. I can't bring them back, and so I do all I can to prevent others from joining them in the early grave.

Thirdly, there is always the risk of dependency. I can see people I know right now who are plunging into the bottomless pit of alcoholism, and it is torture for me to watch them fall. It is a drug, and it will destroy you if you don't use it wisely. It will destroy those close to you as well. Alcohol can grasp a normal, happy family by the neck and throw them through the meat grinder. Not all drunks are happy drunks, and those unhappy campers murder their relationships with people they love when sober. I have seen this as well. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but booze and words will shatter connections with those you care for. This doesn't happen, of course, when you've had a few too many at a party, but it can still be one of the most adverse effects the drink can have over time.

Number four is a reason that I feel especially strong about. I am mine. I control my own life, everything from what I think to what I say, to which way I'm going to turn my head. I make decisions every second that change the path of my life's journey. I drive a metaphorical car of my life. And if the driver of that car were under the influence, I could metaphorically crash that metaphorical car, do something, say something, whatever, that I would later deeply regret. You do not control yourself when you are drinking, and dammit don't even try to tell me otherwise. I like to be in control, to be on top, and dammit that isn't meant to be funny. I refuse to let anything wrench the driver's seat away from me. I don't do Chinese fire drills in my metaphorical car. I am in control and will stay in control.

Here's number 5: it's expensive. It's nearly 27 dollars for a 1.75 bottle of Smirnoff. Why? Why would I pay 27 dollars, plus alcohol tax, for a bottle of gasoline? That shit is so concentrated that my unleaded 4-cylinder can't run on it. Think of what you can do, or what you can get for 27 dollars. Where is that money going? You are buying yourself an evening absent of thinking or memory, and a searing headache. Great economic management.

Another reason is...I don't get it. Seriously, what the fuck. If I am going to go to a good party, I want to remember how much fun I had, how awesome the music was, and who I talked to. I want to remember her phone number, not how much I regret meeting her in the first place. I do not understand why I would want to walk around like a giddy idiot, say really jumbled, retarded things to people, throw up a few times to add to the fun, and spend the night passed out with my face in the shitter. I want to wake up tomorrow with good memories, not with a migraine. I don't get it.

I don't need it. What most people don't know is that the endorphins produced by the endocrine system in the human body are immensely stronger than any synthetic drug, alcohol included. What does that mean? It means that I get a much stronger rush out of going 65mph down a ski slope than from drinking a bottle of Strawberry Bacardi. I'll also burn a load of calories and build up those hunky muscles too. Granted, if it's a mogul hill, I might need some Jack & Coke at the bottom to ease the burning numbness in my knees. People come up with all of these phrases, "_____ is my anti-drug." I don't need anything to consciously keep me away from the junk, I am happy enough with being alive and having fun that I don't need to drink. I guess you could say life is my anti-drug.

This resolution will stand. You can try to bribe, convince, or otherwise change my determination, but I'll save you the trouble by telling you now that I am much too headstrong for any of that to alter my philosophy of life and how I live it.

Don't joke about my decision. It could save you a lot of trouble. If I were you, I would take advantage of my stubbornness, and hand me your keys. I'll gladly sacrifice a night of my time so you can have a good time and not have to worry about anything except the massive hangover you'll have the next morning, while I go skiing. I don't mind you drinking, as long as it doesn't totally control who you are, or try to control who I am. Because at that point, you are no longer yourself. You are a faceless bottle, like hundreds of thousands of other American kids. I'll still go to the parties with you, sure, but I won't let any amount of liquid wash me of my individuality, ideals, and resolve.



Cheers.

Current Mood: Irritated

Listening To: "Another Good Reason (Not to Drink)" by Alan Jackson

Dr. Randy Pausch

There was a professor of computer science and human-computer interaction at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. His name was Dr. Randy Pausch. He was quite an amazing man, for his achievements in education, which should not be overlooked, but also for the battle he has fought valiantly in the past view years.

You see, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August of 2006. His doctors tried to kill it with a plethora of treatments, from surgery to experimental chemotherapy, but within one year it was found to have metastasized to his liver and spleen, thus becoming terminal cancer. By May of this year, tumors were detected in his lungs and lymph system.

Today, July 25th, on Good Morning America, Diane Sawyer announced that Dr. Randy Pausch finally lost the battle at home in Chesapeake, Virginia.

This is not an obituary, however. This is for me to relay what he taught us from his battle, his amazingly calm philosophy of life that was created in the final burning embers of his own.

There was a series of lectures at a variety of Universities in the U.S. where professors were asked to think about what matters most to them, and present it to students as a "last lecture," something that they would say if they were hypothetically dying. Dr. Pausch's speech was written for this series of lectures, and was particularly riveting and emotional because he actually was dying. I would like to post this lecture, because I believe that we can learn things not only from our own experiences, but from the experiences of others, in addition to it being an active memorial for an amazing man.


Full speech transcript:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/TenWays/Story?id=3675954&page=3

Video link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

Book site:
http://www.thelastlecture.com/



"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, only how we play the hand." -Dr. Randy Pausch

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -Dr. Randy Pausch

Current Mood: Exhausted

Listening To: "Walk On" by U2

Human Nature

My homepage is CNN. I'm not a news freak, but I like being completely up to date with what is going on in the world. Those who stay wrapped up in their own little suburban soap opera "problems" are blind to what the REAL world is like. I try to stay outside of that, to wake up every morning and see what the other 6 Billion people are doing outside my front door.

People complain that the news is too pessimistic, too dreary. Well I've got "news" for you. You have no idea what humanity is like. Humanity is Dr. Jeckell and Mr. Hyde, two-faced, hypocritical, ignorant. The news simply reflects the Mr. Hyde of humanity that people try to pretend doesn't exist.

There are days when I wonder why I keep reading the news. Days when I wake up, and see things like "Two Girls Slaughtered at Sleepover Party." Things like "Italians Sunbathe As Drowned Girls Lie on Beach." On those days, I sit there in front of my screen, wishing I could do something very painful to humanity as a whole. If humanity were represented by one single being, I would take out my cold brass knuckles and break his nose, and then waterboard the motherfucker until he understood that he needed to STOP. Humanity needs to stop being so careless, hateful, resentful, destructive, ignorant, violent, greedy, and downright, one hundred percent stone cold fucking stupid.

There are reasons why people act in such a manner. They are primitive. They have advanced, yes. They have designed and constructed bridges, dams, towers that pierce the sky. But that is technological advancement, not humanistic. The basic instincts of any animal still remain under the skin of human nature: the instinct to do whatever is necessary to keep oneself alive, the instinct to kill. Many argue that these dispositions have faded as we have "advanced." I disagree. Read the news and my backing evidence will glare coldly into your eyes. History truly does repeat itself, be it over decades, months, or days. That, I'm sure, isn't just another bad cliché. It is the truth.

It won't happen, though, that's as sure as the sun coming up tomorrow morning. Humanity won't change.

But every time I'm on the edge of completely giving up hope on the human race, I see just a little bit of light. A grandma walking with her grandson through the store, both smiling happily as he grasps a toy they picked out. A couple of drivers pulled over to the side of the road, helping someone push their stalled '67 Chevy out of traffic. Those simple random acts of kindness that remind me that there is still, somewhere, just a little bit of innocence, of integrity in mankind. Dr. Jeckell is still alive, alive with understanding of his dark side, and with intent to suffocate that evil with all of the will in him.

You can be the light. You have within you the power to have integrity, to be a decent person. You can be humble, regardless of who you are or what your stature. Every individual of a system must change for the system to change. Start with yourself. And if you want to see what happens when people disregard this, read the news. It's an eye-opening experience.

Current Mood: Exanimate

Listening To: "Gortoz a Ran (J'attends)" by Denez Prigent

The Aviators

I reworked all of my photo albums on Myspace today, and, looking at the finished product, it occurred to me that in every single album cover picture, I am wearing sunglasses. It's even obvious to me now...

Okay, okay, I'll answer the age old question. The sunglasses. They seem to be permanently attached to my face, right? Why don't I ever take them off? And why aviators? And why MIRRORED aviators, specifically?

Before I respond, I need you to make me a promise. Don't ask me again. Because if you do, I will see to it that your mouth is glued shut, much like these here cheap sunglasses are glued to my face.

I wear sunglasses routinely because my eyes are sensitive, and there so happens to be a rather intensely bright ball of flaming Helium and Hydrogen gasses that usually sits up in the sky for a few hours each day. It really is quite large and quite hot, about 109 times the width of Earth in diameter, and around 5,778K in temperature.

"Sunglasses," broken down, literally means "glasses that protect the eyes from the glare of sunlight." Thus, my sensitive eyes are shielded from the damaging ultraviolet rays from this "sun." That would be the main reason I wear sunglasses.

In order to save you from feeling like a complete moron for asking me so many times only to receive this obvious retort, I will dig a little big deeper. I could tell you that wearing sunglasses is a habit, and I wouldn't be lying. It is a habit, I don't notice it at all. I guess everybody else does. But I could go even more abstract than that.

This is what you want to hear isn't it, another one of my drawn-out, overcomplicated explanations of something that's really pretty simple?

In case you haven't noticed, I am a very, very intrinsic person. For those of you who don't know much psychological/personality terminology, intrinsic does not mean asocial. Intrinsic people are not necessarily quiet and withdrawn, socially inactive. Intrinsic refers to those who are observers, rather than our extrinsic counterparts who are, I believe, more blind to what is going on. We seem outgoing enough, but are more calculated in action, more aware of minute details. We are the secret service, with the earpieces and dark sunglasses. Ah, sunglasses.

Are you starting to make a connection here?

The reason the secret service issues dark sunglasses to its members is so that they may go about their business, which is to observe, without distraction. They can stand and inhale the nuances of the world around them without having to worry about those unbelievably awkward eye-to-eye moments. They cannot be influenced by the piercing stares of others because they know that absolutely no one can read their thoughts or emotions. For them, dark shades allow them to attend to their job. For me, they allow me to attend to my intrinsic personality, observing the flow of what is happening around me without anyone having the faintest idea of what is running through my mind. That is why I like to wear dark sunglasses.

Hopefully that cleared up the shady spots, pun intended. But still, why aviators? Why mirrored? And why cheap?

I first watched Top Gun in 2004. I always had an immense respect for pilots, specifically fighter pilots, Navy & Marine fighter pilots, because I have known so many in my life. My heroes are Lt. Col. Hap Langstaff, Maj. Gen. Marion Carl, Col. John Glenn, and the like. I have known many incredible pilots through the years, and see in them something that I want to be. Top Gun gathered everything I love about military flying, and crammed it into an action-packed movie, filled with adrenaline, cheesy lines, Tom Cruise, and aviators. So, in respect to the pilots I've known personally, the spirit of flight, and Tom Cruise, I decided I wanted to represent them with a simple pair of sunglasses. My tribute to them, symbolically protecting me as I support them.

I also like them because they fit my face, and they're an everlasting style...hell, Top Gun came out in '86, and they were in use looong before than and are still popular.

Fine, fine, but why mirrored? Mirrored is sexy, peckerhead. Didn't you notice? Mirrored is shiny, smooth, and just all around more flashy than anything else. I am a bit of a showboat, hence the turquoise ski pants, blue neons, white hair...got it? Mirrored also gives you a taste of what it's like to be me. When you walk up to me and stare in my eyes (or about where you think they are,) you cannot begin to imagine what I'm thinking. But at least you can see what I am seeing. I see you. I see everything around and behind you. And so do you, thanks to the mirrors on my face. Yourself, through my eyes.

Yeah but why cheap sunglasses? Well, I really could go on Amazon right this minute and get a nice pair of RayBans, but I won't. And there's a reason, or two. Sunglasses get scratched. They get broken, bent, sat on, slammed in the car door, stepped on, sunk to the bottom of the Delta. I don't want my 150 dollar sunglasses investment to become a man-made reef at the bottom of Indian Slough outside of Discovery Bay, okay? So my three-pack of no-name mirrored aviators for $8.50 is perfectly fine with me.

Secondly, have you ever heard "Cheap Sunglasses" by ZZTop? Yeah, tell me why I'd get rhinestone shades after listening to that?

So, there you have it. That, in a nutshell, is why I've always got cheap mirrored aviators. Now you can sleep easy. And so can I, its two in the morning.

Current Mood: Luminous

Listening To: "Cheap Sunglasses" by ZZTop

My Interesting Story

I'm going to make a mountain out of a molehill here, just to warn you.

I've had this nail stuck in my tire for a couple of weeks now, and I'm just assuming it'll stay there since it's stuck pretty deep and I haven't lost any air.

That was, until last night. I was driving back from the gym, kind of rambling along. Suddenly I hear this "BAM" and then "fwap fwap fwap..."

I was like "oh my fucking christ, my tire just blew." Then I heard "crunch crunch crunch" and I went "what the cow fuck...my RIM too?"

The next 60 seconds I was confused as hell, because I realized the sound was in the front left, and the nail is in my rear left tire. Also, the catastrophic depressurization light wasn't on, so I'm mumbling "what the...whaat's going on..." Then I realized it sounded like little rocks hitting the side, so I stopped and that's when I saw the three little fuckers running back around the corner.

I had just been weightlifting for two hours and was not in the mood, but, being a sprinter, geared up to run them down and rip their nuts off anyway. At that point I scanned the paint but didn't see anything so now I'm even more confused.

What the fuck...I started laughing when I remembered that stupid duct tape prank. Yep, bastards plastered my front tire with duct tape, and (they were innovative) a water bottle wrapped in the tape.

I sat there laughing in the middle of the intersection at Kamp and Cameron for a while, and then went home.

Idiots.

Don't you have ANYTHING better to do on a Saturday night?

It scared the friggen socks off me because of that damn nail, but I heard like 10-12 other cars go by going "fwap fwap fwap." I kept my window open so I could listen to it, soo funny.

Ahhh sorry for boring you.

Current Mood: Amused

Listening To: "Unchained" by Van Halen

Summer Is Torture (For Skiers)

Summer is a great season, because you get to burn time kickin' it back with friends, jetski, go to the beach and surf, go boating and offroading and whatnot. But if you're a skier, especially a hardcore skier, Summer is also a time to re-grow all of the bones you busted during the last runs in April and May, and to start gearing up for that time in late Fall when you open the closet, and slowly dig through your beach towels and wetsuits to get to the skis hidden at the bottom.

You have to be ready, because when that first snowflake falls, you don't go outside and try to catch it on your tongue like a child, no. You let it fall all the way down to the ground and stick, so you can build up a nice foundation of snowpack to shred on.

But before then, you have to wait all Summer in the offseason, and try to keep yourself preoccupied with other adrenaline-filled activities. Generally, we skiers do a pretty good job of shutting it out of our minds for the Summer, so we don't go nuts. That is until mid to late July, when all of the ski movie producers carry out the torturous act of releasing the first trailers for the ski films that will be released in the fall. That is when we skiers go berserk, go into severe snow withdrawals, and talk about nothing but skiing until December. This is because waiting for ski season is like holding back a huge piss...when you finally let it go it is like heaven on earth.

That time is now. Today, Teton Gravity Research released the first trailer for their 2008 film, "Under The Influence" (which is a pretty apt title.) So excuse me if I seem like a raving maniac who spends 15 hours a day glued to the Weather Channel from late October through early December, and skis down the emergency staircase in the dorms. If you see anybody walking around in this bright summer sunshine in flip-flops and Anon ski goggles, that would be me.

For your enjoyment, the trailer for TGR's "Under The Influence."

Current Mood: Stoked

Watching: "Anomaly" by Teton Gravity Reasearch

Why I Write

I figured this blog needed some clarification, so...

There is a reason that I write these things. It's not because I have no life, even though I don't...

If nothing else, I took one important thing away from the Senior year of high school. I learned it from my Advanced Comp / World Lit teacher, Mr. Pagtakhan, who handed me my diploma and thus concluded my high school career. I'll carry it with me for the rest of my life. It is a quote, and it goes like this:

"The unexamined life is not worth living."
-Wayne E. Paquette Socrates

If you don't think about how much fun you're having, or how important the experience, life is meaningless. It's the journey that counts, not the end result. That's why I write this stuff in my blog, to think about life.

Call me a nerd, I don't care, because it's really all for myself, I'm just sharing it with you in case you'd like to walk away looking at things with a better perspective, and more optimistic view.

Read.

Current Mood: Forgotten

Watching: "The Green Mile"

Music

Music is mysterious.

It expresses words, thought, and emotion that plain words simply cannot. It can manifest sense and power into things that, without a melody, are confusing and mundane. If there is such a thing as magic, music is filled with it.

Think about it. When you want to pump up the party, you turn up the music. Somebody break your heart? Turn up the music. Nervous about that ski jump? Music. Just need something to help you think? Music. It's the cure to every disease, the heartbeat of every emotion, the amplifier of life.

It is a universal language, that is spoken and understood by every human being. It is the bookmark of memories, memories that are relived in minute detail when that old tune comes on the radio. Students use it to help them study. Athletes use it to give them strength. Soldiers use it to help them kill. Every living person listens to music, to heal, to empower, to think, to relax, to understand, to remember, to forget.

Whatever you find yourself doing, you can incorporate music to add to the power of experiences in life. Or, if you have nothing else to do, turn it up and lose yourself. Or find yourself. You can do, feel, be anything, as long as you have music.

Turn it up. But not too loud, or you'll lose your hearing. And that would just plain suck.

Current Mood: Contemplative

Listening To: "Ship of Fools" by Robert Plant

Thinking

I think.

I'm pretty sure I'm abnormal because of that, since, from what I've observed in other people, thinking isn't something that is done on a regular basis.

Sometimes, thought can save you. Life is convenient when you think, and it usually gives others the impression that you're not a dolt. For example, by thinking, I can decide to turn on my blinker and safely change lanes, while appearing to be a good driver. I can also logically decide how exactly I am going to run your ass off the road after you cut in front of me.

In some cases though, thinking is a nuisance. Now, for example. Its three in the morning, and dammit I want to sleep. I can't, though, because I'm thinking. I will sit here, mind wandering, until it shuts off, like a thermostat hitting the right temperature.

Thinking about what? I put thought into life, a lot of thought. I think about the past, the present, the future. Where did I screw up, why am I like this, what will I do with life? I think too much. There is such a thing as thinking too much. Regardless of how much you love chocolate, if you eat too much of it, it will make you sick. Same idea.

For example, thinking while I'm talking. I wish I could speak like I write, because I would be as suave as James Bond, every word perfectly aligned. But if you try to sound cool by thinking about your words, you swallow your tongue and come across as a moron. You know, you have just one chance to make a first impression. I've blown plenty of those, some of which I really, really wish I had a second chance on, one that's particularly nervewrecking. But it's that damned thinking that gets in the way every time, and completely removes you from character. I guess it's a personality flaw I just have to deal with.

If you don't know me well and I seem kind of weird, I hope that explains it. I'm just thinking.

Ideally, though, take my advice. You should think like you should drink, in moderation. Have a Rasperry Bacardi, but not too many and not too often or you will lose your head. Think about your life, but not too much, or you'll end up like me. Writing philosophical blog entires in the middle of the night.

I'm going to go take some melatonin.

Current Mood: Thoughtful

Listening To: "New Slang" by The Shins