Military pilots know all specifications of their equipment. They know the entire anatomy of their aircraft, exactly how it operates, and possible solutions to problems that might arise. They can control engine, avionics, communications, and navigation devices simultaneously.
Californians know that they have a car that hopefully makes other people envious, that it has two pedals and some sort of wheel for turning, and a bunch of useless additional electronics shit that they can’t operate without reading a 400-page manual that was written in a dim room by some poor soulless engineer. Given that it was composed by engineers, come to think of it, they probably wouldn’t understand it anyway, should it ever leave the dark recesses of the glove box. Speaking of which, who the hell keeps gloves in their glove box?
Point being: People can’t drive.
Here’s what I saw today (keep in mind that it was well below freezing with 4+ inches of snow on the road and low visibility):
-I saw an AWD Subaru with chains on. How they decided which axle to put them on is beyond me.
-I saw a minivan with chains on the rear tires. All minivans are FWD, so the chains were doing nothing. I avoided this vehicle.
-I saw an Escalade ESV going 60 miles per hour in heavy snow. He had street tires on with low tread. 4WD doesn’t do anything without snow tires in these conditions.
-I saw a line of 8 cars tailgating each other (within 6 feet) while traveling at 40mph. According to the laws of physics, tailgating in low-friction environments guarantees a pileup if any of the cars in the line slams on their brakes.
-I saw a number of people cut off trucks when changing lanes. If I was a truck driver, and someone cut me off, and I was going downhill, I would run them over. No jack-knifing for me. Of course, in the state of California, only a small percentage of people know how to drive cooperatively with big rigs on the highway.
-I saw a guy in a Chevy Tahoe with 4WD, and he was going a good speed, but he had a trailer with chains on it. And what, exactly, are those chains doing for you?
-I saw somebody in an old Mercedes going about 55mph with chains on. I will laugh in your face when they fly off and wrap the axle. American stupidity is usually able to trump German engineering.
Here’s my solution. “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball,” right? Okay then, so take that idea and apply it to this situation. If you can fly a plane, you can drive a car. So, with that in mind, we get everybody who wants to renew their license, and take them out in the desert somewhere, and put ‘em in a Cessna or something. Then, you tell them to take off, fly for 5 minutes, and then land. If they land, they get their driver’s license. If they crash, then they have unfortunately rendered themselves incapable of driving on CA roads and must take the test again. Now, I spy a loophole—if someone has a pilot’s license, they get to take off and land from a carrier, and then they can get their license.
The gist of this plan is that most people will be scared away from applying for the license, and only competent people will apply. The skilled will pass. Why can’t driver’s-ed be like flight school? Flying aircraft is statistically much less dangerous than driving a car for precisely this reason.
I love California for a lot of reasons, but GOD some of the people here are STUPID.
Current Mood: Tired
Listening To: "All the Things That I've Done" by The Killers
No comments:
Post a Comment